It is a topic that is so mommyblog 101, so pedestrian, you will think, 'oh lord, this is so overdone. I hope she says fuck a lot at least.'
(I can't make any promises.)
What is it with those sports parents? What a-holes! I remember one mom, back when Katie was on swim team. She'd stand at rhe end of the lane, shouting and waving her arms, what a fucking spectacle.
Oh wait, that was me.
There was also this woman who, during Julia's soccer game, was yelling 'GO GO GO! YESSSSS!!! YOU ARE AWESOME!" as her daughter took the ball and scored a goal. Scored because all the other players and coaches were surrounding an injured player. The words in yo face may have been used. The children were four.
Also, sadly, me.
But the absolute worst is the stage mom, with her painfully obvious attempt at vicarious living. The one who really wishes she could audition herself. She'd show those bitches, she would so rock Annie!
Katie had an audition this afternoon for a production of Fiddler on the Roof. It's the biggest theater she's auditioned for, and there are limited roles. I really want this part.
On the ride over, we talked about eye contact and natural movement and BIG SMILES.
I made her repeat, enthusiastically:
GO BIG OR GO HOME.
IN IT TO WIN IT.
So help me, I said it. And meant it.
When they called her name, my stomach crawled up into my throat and stayed there while she sang her sixteen bars behind closed doors. I could hear her and she sounded great and I came close to crying. I am a fucking freak.
When she came out, she sat down and said, "I was so nervous and I totally froze and didn't move." but then she laughed and I told her she sounded great and I was confident in her and she did her best and I was proud. And then I started sizing up the competition.
The cute kid in a pink cloche hat. What nine year old wears a fucking cloche hat? Really?
The kid who dressed the part.
The kid wearing the t-shirt advertising the last play she was in. (Guilty of this, not going to lie.)
The boy. One boy which means one of the six roles will go to him. Fact: Boys ruin everything.
But she sounded good, and she's a sweet and fun kid, and I think she glows. I told her she was so good, they'd have to rename it Katie on the Roof. I meant it.
1 hour ago