Because I am clearly not old enough to be 40. Or 39, for that matter.
While I say I'm not affected by the number, I am doing things that show evidence to the contrary. Casually inquiring about the cost of Botox. Using more Ben Gay than normal. Growing hair from my chin. There are some things that I can not control. Then there are the things that I can. To that end, I've made a list of 39 things I'd like to do while I'm 39.
1. Say "I'm with the band." and have it be true.
2. Purchase new bath towels. Nice ones. I am too old to be using shitty towels.
4. Go on an overnight trip with my husband, without the kids.
5. Learn how to drive a stick shift. That's embarrassing.
6. Yell "And the horse you rode in on!" at someone in a fit of rage.
7. Take a golf lesson.
8. Read "Gone With the Wind" instead of just claiming to have read it.
9. Get diapers out of my house FOREVER.
10. Go camping with my family. Apparently, the Husband thinks it's a good way to 'make memories' and 'bond as a family'. I originally typed 'bong as a family', which sounds like a lot more fun.
11. Catch up on the kids' baby books. This may be the most unrealistic item on the list.
12. Put pictures in all the frames around the house that don't have pictures in them or, worse, have the pictures that came with the frames.
13. Keep up with current events. On a Weekly Reader level, at minimum.
15. Beat my high score on Tetris.
16. Find something new to do with chicken.
17. Redecorate my bedroom. Or at least hang a picture on the wall. We've only been in this house 8 years, it's time I got to it.
18. Get a celebrity to retweet me.
19.Write letters to the teachers who made a difference in my life, thanking them.
20. Make a better effort to stay in contact with my brothers.
21. Teach Julia to ride a bike without training wheels.
22. Paint my laundry room a ridiculously bright color so my brain will be tricked into thinking laundry is 'fun!'.
23. Throw more dinner parties.
24. Make coq au vin.
25. Learn all the words to Northfield: The Disaster.
26. Spend more one on one time with my kids.
27. Sleep through the night, at least once.
28. Become a "Blog of Note" on blogger.com. Make it so!
31. Make jam, can it and give it as Christmas gifts in an effort to be thrifty. End up spending more on supplies, jars, cute ribbons and labels than I would have spent on a regular gift that didn't take me 4 days to make.
32. Start a fire using only a magnifying glass to harness the power of the sun.
34. Make something crafty and useful. Instead of just seeing something and thinking "Oh, I could make that!" and then going out and buying it.
36. Fight for my right to party.
38. Be less sensitive to criticism.
39. Play more. Work less.
Some of them are hard. Some of them, not so much. But I'm going to give them all a try, and I'll keep you updated over the next year. Wish me luck!