Monday, August 8, 2011

A Horse is a Horse, Of Course. Unless.

While cleaning up this morning, I picked Julia's plastic horse from up off the floor. It's your garden variety plastic horse, nothing special.

It doesn't move or whinny or light up or shoot realistic horse turds out of it's butt. It is so unremarkable, that I have never noticed one, very prominent, feature. Until I turned it over.

Yes, that is a wang. Based on my limited exposure to horse wangs, it is to scale:
I don't think Mr. Lincoln could have ever imagined his likeness being used in such a manner.

It reminded me of a trip to the Dallas Zoo when Katie was four or five. In the petting zoo, she stood with a horse - giving her best 'ta-da!' pose. But the picture comes across differently:
If you have plastic horses in your house, please go RIGHT NOW and check for weenies. I have to know if this is a widespread thing!


  1. We have umpteen gazillion toy horses, and yes, it is fairly common. Schleich and Breyer, the two companies that seem to make 90% of the toys horses in the world, make them realistic. Stallions have balls in addition to the sheath (the place where the weinie hides). Mares have udders with nipples on them. My daughter find it annoying because it messes with their plans to make all their favorite horses girls, because girls are a million times better than boys.

    (This is STM from the mommy board, btw)

  2. We HAVE that horse, but I have never turned it over to examine its genitals. I'll check in later tonight and report back, perhaps with photographic evidence.


  3. I know you've been waiting with bated breath for an update. Our Breyer horse does, in fact, have junk. But the horse I plucked from the dollar bin at Target does not. Take from that what you will.


  4. That's what you get when you don't pony up? A cheap whorse?

  5. Guys, please, real stallions and geldings DO have genitals. Trust me its not going to ruin your childrens' innocence, and its much better for them to find out from their toys than to go to a real farm or see a male horse on TV, point at the genitals and ask what those are.

    Do you have any pets? Chances are if its a cat or dog your kids already saw their genitals, so its not big deal. (By that I mean that when dogs roll on their bellies and female dogs still have teats, so-) and cats, they bathe in front of you all the time.

    It's not like they're putting dicks on actual human dolls, so there's no need to worry! None of this is going to make them interested in animal sex if that is what you're worried about.