I just finished reading a post on BlogHer about adult bullies, and clicked over to Facebook where a different person was talking about the same issue. In the past week, I've had my own run in with an adult bully, and the people who live a few doors down continue to be the terror of the neighborhood. Through church and the PTA, volunteer organizations and social groups, I keep encountering these unpleasant people and always walk away thinking the same thing -
What the fuck is wrong with people?
In Rosalind Wiseman's very good Queen Bee Moms and Kingpen Dads (her follow up to Queen Bees and Wannabes), she rightly pegs the majority of these people as the schoolyard bully, all grown up. They consider their ideas to be the best ones, their experiences to be the most valid, their opinions to be the right ones. So insistent are they, that they often end up in positions of leadership, perpetuating the cycle of bullying. Only now with authority.
If a person is very skilled, very diplomatic and very patient, they can turn the bully into an ally, maybe even harness their powers for the greater good.
Most of us want to skip the diplomacy and punch them in the face. But because we're NOT bullies, we smile and roll over and vent privately to family and friends. Or blogs.
So what would happen if we stood up to these people and said, 'Hey, jerk. Stop being such a jerk.' Would they? Would it make a difference at all? Are we too nice to say anything to begin with?
2 weeks ago