Oh, hey there.
What have you been doing this past week?
I've been watching baseball and working on my tan and ferrying my children to various camp-y activities, eating watermelon and enjoying the clean, chemical smell of chlorine that has permeated our pores. I have seen an old friend, and prepared to say goodbye to another. I have celebrated our seventeenth wedding anniversary and organized boxes of photographs and cried with happiness at both things. I have been a puddly mess of emotions, and relied far too much on the brewskis as a mood stabilizer.
I have not written. Who has the time, with all that going on?
I have thrown up my hands and declared myself 'Done with being mommy for the day!', only to start laughing a second later when Julia said, 'Yes! Now I can do whatever I want!'
I lost my mind today and took them all to Chuck E. Cheese to escape the ridiculous heat, and found myself not minding at all when they fed $25 worth of tokens into machines. We walked out of there with some tattoos and sunglasses and Smarties. I love Smarties.
I question the marketing genius who decided that a giant rat would be a great mascot for an establishment touting food and good, clean, family fun. Who would have guessed? Sean caught six mice in our garage this week, giving me a Code Red level anxiety attack, and making me wonder if I should charge admission to the garage and serve crappy pizza on the car hood. Maybe set up a cornhole toss.
Give out plastic fang teeth and Smarties as prizes.
I question the marketing genius who decided to name a popular game after a euphamism for a butthole. It makes me wonder if I should come up with a seemingly innocuous portable game, and name it something like Rimjob Toss, or Nutsack Ball, or The Clamslapper. Bars could hold Collegiate Clamslapper Tournaments, they would be televised on ESPN 12 or one of those other networks that show curling and cornhole and pub trivia and the rochambeau championships (which totally exist).
I am watching summer tumble past and I keep trying to grab it and hold on. I pull at the days to slow them down, and find myself looking at my sleeping children each night thinking, 'Again? Is today over, again?'
2 weeks ago