Are You Going to Eat That?

There are moments in your life where time stands still. When it seems you are a disembodied spirit, floating above, peering down at your corporeal self doing something incredibly stupid. From the ether, your spirit-self opens its mouth in a vain attempt to communicate, but all that escapes is a whoooosh of air. In your head, you scream- that is not chocolate!

It is too late.

I seem to lack that spilt second decision making skill. Somewhere between the thought (what is that?) and the action (placing mystery object in my mouth), there should be a moment of hesitation. A moment where my brain kicks in and says, hey, wait a minute.

I have put an embarrassing number of things into my mouth without first determining their origin, or considering their current state. All of my children have gone through the Cheerio stage, where their primary snack has been the ubiquitous "O". As a result, Cheerios were often found in the deepest, darkest corners of bags and cars and bras. Channeling my Depression-era ancestors, I was loathe to toss them out, and often, too often, ate them instead. I remember very clearly one instance where, taking off my bra after a long day, I discovered a Cheerio clinging with desperation to my right breast. It had, no doubt, been there most of the day; it had imprinted a tiny circle into my skin and had long lost any crunch it may have had.

Naturally, I ate it. And as I chewed the stale, slightly soft morsel, I thought to myself - am I really eating cereal off my boob?

Toddlers love to share their food. Preferably after they've mashed it and smashed it, rolled it around in their chubby fists until it can only be described as grimy, and - if they really love you - they'll even pre-chew it. The Husband will say, 'No, thank you!' over and over until even my very persistent children give up. I, on the other hand, will smile and pop the piece in my mouth and eat it with relish, even if my brain is yelling what the fuck are you dooooooing???

I like to think it's because I love them more.

A Trifling Matter

There are few things more disgustingly wonderful than a bunch of wickedly sweet things of varying textures layered in pretty bowl, all smooshed and gooey and delicious. And few things are as easy and endless in variety (Moon Pies, anyone?) as the trifle.

For Father's Day, I've made the husband's favorite - Chocolate Peanut Butter Cup. Here's how:

The Ingredients
1 small box Cook & Serve Chocolate Pudding (because it's better than instant)
1 recipe chocolate cake (your own or box, I don't care. I use a box mix for this because it's fast, cheap, and good)
1 pint whipping cream + 2 T sugar + 2 t vanilla (I make my own because it's easy, and Cool Whip is greasy)
1 jar hot fudge sauce (go ahead and make it if you must, Martha)
8-10 or so Reese's Peanut Butter Cups (or, as they're known in my neck of the woods, Reesy Cups)
1 cute assistant (optional, but helpful)

The Recipe
1. Prepare cake according to directions, cool, and cut into 1/2" by 3" strips. I bake it in a 9 x 13 pan, because it makes it easier. I use 1/2 of the cake for this recipe, and wrap and freeze the other half, to use in another trifle. Or for a cake emergency.
2. While the cake cooks, prepare the pudding according to package directions and allow to cool. Feel free to eat the pudding skin, I did.
3. Have Cute Assistant unwrap the Reesy Cups, and cut into bite sized pieced. To clarify: Have assistant unwrap, you cut. I don't know about yours, but my Cute Assistant has no business with a deadly weapon.
4. Prepare whipped cream (mix ingredients together, beating on high until it looks like whipped cream).

The Assembly!

1. Line the bottom of a trifle bowl (really, any bowl will do. A trifle bowl just looks pretty.) with cake pieces, making additional cuts and smooshing as necessary to get a nice bottom layer. I am in the habit of going up the sides on this bottom layer, making a little bowl for the ingredients. It doesn't look as nice, so I don't know why I keep doing it. 

2. Layer 1/2 of the fudge sauce over the cake. 

3. Sprinkle on some of the peanut butter cups. 

4. Spread on 1/2 of the pudding.

5. Spread on 1/2 of the whipped cream. 

6. Repeat layers, ending with whipped cream and a sprinkling of peanut butter cups. 

7. Cover and refrigerate. You can eat it right away, but it's even better if it sits in the icebox overnight. 

It is so good you will eat it until you are as full as a tick and you have to half-roll, half-drag yourself over to the couch and pass out in a sugar coma.Then you will wake up and go have another bowl.