Stupid Tired

By my best estimation, the last time I had a full night of uninterrupted sleep was the spring of 2006. Usually, I am able to function well enough (sometimes even awesomely) on sleep broken by babies chewing on my boobs, or toddlers with a need for water (or bathroom or music or a re-tuck), or big kids with nightmares. I have managed to push through for five plus years.

Until today. For what ever reason, five years of unrest caught up with me today. I have never in my whole fucking life been so tired, not even after those 12 hour workday followed by a night of drinking and dancing and puking. Not even during those first few weeks with the babies, when all they did is nurse and shit and cry and nurse and shit.

Never. Ever.

Some people might have locked their children in a safe room, threw some Cheerios on the floor, and slept. But I am not some people. Instead of being practical, I drank a big ass pot of coffee and said to the little ones, "Let's make cookies."

Here is the thing about caring for children when you are dead ass tired: You become completely apathetic. Mom, can I feed the dog these Santa gel clings off the window? Sure, whatever. Mom, can I take off all my clothes and diaper and pee on the floor? Hey, man. Be free. Mom! Can we make 8,000 sugar cookies and a huge fucking mess? Absolutely. Exhaustion puts you into survival mode - whatever it takes to keep them quiet.

Henry so enjoyed eating powder sugar off the counter. And when he pointed to the bag and said "More? More?" I gave him a whole cup full. Why not.

It's a good thing neither of the little ones know how to order things online.

We waited until Katie came home from school to decorate the cookies. She spread icing on one, ate it, then left. Julia decorated two and declared "You do the rest, Mommy." Henry ate four cookies and a cup of powdered sugar and was a maniac the rest of the day.

I was left with four dozen cookies to decorate and a disaster of a kitchen.

There is a lesson in all this, but I am too tired to figure it out.

Football Shmootball

Apparently, there are some big games on today. Sean and my father in law, John (who's birthday is today, birthday shout out to Papa John!) are Green Bay Packer fans. From the looks of these yahoos, the game went well:

My brother Mike is a Pittsburgh Steelers Superfan, and it looks like he will be celebrating tonight as well.

And while Julia pranced around in her cheerleader outfit and Katie grazed on the buffet, Henry was soaking up all the dudeliness. All my efforts at gender neutrality were erased in one afternoon of grunting and high-fiving. Sean clearly enjoyed having THE BOY around. I'll admit it was sweet to see. Sweet, in a very manly way.

Football was king in my house growing up. My daddy was the NUMBER ONE DALLAS COWBOYS FAN OF ALL TIME. Seriously, like the guys on the local sports radio knew him. He would tape the games to re-watch during the week, memorizing every play. That is not normal. My father knew more about football, and about sports in general, than any person I've ever met.

Sports are okay. I would never sit down and turn on the television and start surfing and see a sporting event and say "oh, hey! I'm going to watch this basketball/football/baseball/whateverball game." I would certainly never plan my day around it.

I will, however, gladly plan a menu around it. Today was chili, a couple of loaves of the Artisan Bread in 5 Minutes a Day! bread, cream cheese brownies and oatmeal-chocolate chip cookies. Sean made some of his really delicious wings and a friend brought this nasty-good hot bean dip stuff. It looks a little like dog food, but then you take a bite and want to roll around naked in a bathtub full of it.

My oatmeal chocolate chip cookies are fantastic, but I don't recommend rolling around in them. Too crumby. Here's the recipe:

1 stick butter, softened
1 C sugar
1/2 C brown sugar
2 eggs
2 t vanilla
1 1/3 C flour
1 t baking soda
1 t salt
12 oz semisweet chocolate chips
1 1/2 C quick oats

Cream butter and sugars. Add eggs and vanilla. Stir together dry ingredients and add, beating well. Stir in chocolate chips and oats. Drop by teaspoons on lightly greased cookie sheet (skip this if you use a silpat. If you don't use a silpat, go buy a silpat. I love saying silpat.) Bake at 375 for 10-12 minutes or until lightly browned. Makes about 4 dozen.


The cream cheese brownie recipe is from Cook's Illustrated and they are pretty out of this world, too. As is the regular brownie recipe. It is so good that I have turned my back on the super yummy chemical in a box Ghiradelli brownies. Mostly.

As I type this, Sean is upstairs - alone now - watching the last bit of the late game. Occasionally, he will muttered instructions to the players, yell at an official, congratulate himself for his astute observations. As he looks forward to seeing his team play in the Superbowl, all I can think is "what am I going to make?".