Friday, December 2, 2011

Stupid Tired

By my best estimation, the last time I had a full night of uninterrupted sleep was the spring of 2006. Usually, I am able to function well enough (sometimes even awesomely) on sleep broken by babies chewing on my boobs, or toddlers with a need for water (or bathroom or music or a re-tuck), or big kids with nightmares. I have managed to push through for five plus years.

Until today. For what ever reason, five years of unrest caught up with me today. I have never in my whole fucking life been so tired, not even after those 12 hour workday followed by a night of drinking and dancing and puking. Not even during those first few weeks with the babies, when all they did is nurse and shit and cry and nurse and shit.

Never. Ever.

Some people might have locked their children in a safe room, threw some Cheerios on the floor, and slept. But I am not some people. Instead of being practical, I drank a big ass pot of coffee and said to the little ones, "Let's make cookies."

Here is the thing about caring for children when you are dead ass tired: You become completely apathetic. Mom, can I feed the dog these Santa gel clings off the window? Sure, whatever. Mom, can I take off all my clothes and diaper and pee on the floor? Hey, man. Be free. Mom! Can we make 8,000 sugar cookies and a huge fucking mess? Absolutely. Exhaustion puts you into survival mode - whatever it takes to keep them quiet.

Henry so enjoyed eating powder sugar off the counter. And when he pointed to the bag and said "More? More?" I gave him a whole cup full. Why not.
It's a good thing neither of the little ones know how to order things online.

We waited until Katie came home from school to decorate the cookies. She spread icing on one, ate it, then left. Julia decorated two and declared "You do the rest, Mommy." Henry ate four cookies and a cup of powdered sugar and was a maniac the rest of the day.

I was left with four dozen cookies to decorate and a disaster of a kitchen.

There is a lesson in all this, but I am too tired to figure it out.


  1. I thought the song lyric was "a spoonful of sugar makes the ..", from Mary Poppins, right?

  2. Oh you poor thing. This post makes my head hurt just to read it. Good call on the cookies, though. Hope you get some rest!

  3. Again, you are welcome to adopt me at any time.

  4. oh, you poor tired thing you. I once felt this tired, Tall was 3, Short was 1. I told The Husband I was checking into a hotel for 24 hours (by myself) and I did. Best. 24. Hours. Of my life. I slept the entire time, then went home completely recharged and like a brand new person. I looked about 10 years younger overnight. I said to my family with a tone full of pure real perkiness, "Who wants to bake some COOKIES right now!?!" (with extra salt, natch)

    ps--do you have any hotels near you? I highly recommend it

  5. My problem with sleep is that I know that I need it but once I have mine all tucked in and away for the night, it's the only flipping time I get time to myself so I end up staying up so much later than I should. Vicious cycle. I actually look back fondly to March when I had oral surgery and was forced to sleep because of the massive quantities of pain pills I was taking.

  6. Ha! Been there. And I think we have the same kitchen countertops. I'm getting a little scared.

  7. I agree with MOV. 24 hours to yourself to sleep sounds mighty fine. Mighty mighty fine...especially with a glass of wine. Take care of you.

  8. Boston- spoonful, cup full, whatever.
    S. Stauss - the cookies were delicious. And, I can't believe you are doing NaBlo again. It wore me out!
    JRose - only if you sleep through the night.
    MOV - there is a hotel within walking distance. I stare at it wistfully, often.
    Kristin - EXACTLY.
    Marianne - I think there are a few of us living parallel lives, lol.
    Jane - I just had a beer. It's a start!

  9. Somehow, you have to convince them that it would be SUPER-FUN for the whole family to spend an entire Saturday in their pajamas, in your bed, snacking and sleeping and snacking and sleeping and...