You may recall me complaining about my Wilford Brimley mustache a few months ago. After that post, I got a recommendation for a new hair removal product. I saw it today at Target, and with our annual beach vacation looming, I thought I'd give it a try (being mistaken for a beached walrus would be bad).
I also decided to chronicle the experience for your viewing pleasure. What follows is the most unflattering and, frankly, disturbing series of pictures ever taken of yours truly.
First, the application. That's a sexy time pose, by the way.
What the fuck? I'm not crosseyed. Let's try that again.
Oh my God. I'm having a stroke. Is it possible to have a stroke that only affects your ability to cross your eyes? I'm certain it is. This may be a good time to mention that of all the potential, realistic ways to go (getting hit by a milk truck, tripping and falling in a field of forks, getting trapped in a giant clothes dryer), a stroke is my number one, this shit will kill me, fear. Foot falls asleep? Stroke. Ringing in my ears? Stroke. Hangnail? Stroke.
So you can see why I was alarmed. Maybe if I look at my finger.
And don't my nails look cute?
2 weeks ago