The in-laws flew out this morning after a really great visit, leaving in their wake an orgy of food excess and a pledge (from them, and Sean and myself) to hop back on the Weight Watchers wagon. Sean was actually really good during their visit, the rest of us - not so much. So the challenge is to be fit and fabulous by the time they return in July. I am full of resolve and willpower. Actually, I'm just full. Between eating out (a lot) and
pie (also a lot) and Girl Scout cookies, and Frogurt (twice), I am simply stuffed.
Fucking Frogurt. Let's talk about Frogurt for a moment. The concept is brilliant - self serve frozen yogurt with every topping you could possibly imagine. Froot loops? Yeah. Carmelized walnuts in a thick syrup? Yeah. Bobapops? Yeah. I don't even know what bobapops are (and they look grossly like giant fish eggs), but they have them. And because they are counting on people not being capable of showing anything resembling restraint when allowed to fill up their own bowl, they charge by weight. Aside from making you hop up on the scale yourself, there is nothing that screams OH MY GOD YOU ARE A LARDASS like your big bowl of goo up there being weighed for all to see. My mom sat hers on the scale and then said "Oh, let me take the spoon out!", like the weight of the plastic spoon is going to make the difference between Just Getting a Little Snack and Fatty Fell Off the Wagon.
In a divine intervention sort of way, today is also Ash Wednesday. The day when all good (and bad) Catholics and some Protestants who think Catholic stuff is cool, and even some non-religious people who frankly don't have anything better to do for the next 40 days, all decide to give up something for Lent. I'm what could be classified as an okay Catholic, so I really tried to put some thought into it this year. Because I am a grown up, I can't give up something stupid like french fries or Facebook (and who would want to do that?) and it needs to be something that is really a sacrifice.
I thought about cursing, but like hell that's going to happen. Reflecting on the excesses of the past two weeks, the answer is clear - refined sugar. So I ate as much sugar as I possibly could yesterday to get it out of my system, stopping just short of eating spoonfuls of the turbinado out of the sugar bowl. I hope I've built up my reserves enough that the sugar high will last me until Easter.
I like the idea of taking up something as well as giving up something, so this year I'm taking up daily prayer. It's the same thing I take up every year, and every year I fail miserably at it. Mostly because I forget until I'm lying in bed at night, and then my prayers go something like this:
"Father, thank you for this day and the many blessings...oh shit, did I remember to turn the dishwasher on?" I am no good at free form prayer, and the lovely rote Catholic prayers lull me into a very deep meditative sleep. I mean, state. Meditative state.
Regardless of faith of belief or motivation, it's a good an opportunity as any to start a good habit and get out of a bad one. And you get chocolate when it's over.
2 weeks ago