Things I Do on My Day Off

Publish 2 blog posts in a day! I've been home with only the baby since 9:30 this morning, and here is what I've accomplished:

1. Jack shit.

I'm expecting a delivery of our flooring to replace that lost in The Great Bedroom Flood of '11, which is supposed to be here between 1 and 5 p.m. It is now 4:22. If the guy arrives even one minute past 5, I will refuse delivery, scream at him, and kick him square in the balls! Actually, I will just say "Oh, thank you. You're wonderful." and bat my filthy eyelashes. Filthy because I haven't taken a shower because I'm afraid the guy will show up while I'm in the shower. I did, however, brush my teeth. I like to keep my standards low, that way I never disappoint myself.

Henry and I have had a lovely day together. We played race cars and peekaboo and read Superhero Me! 32 times. I ate 14 Girl Scout cookies for lunch. He barfed down the inside of my shirt. He had a poop that smelled like a perm and contained 3 silver sequins.

GLAMOUR, people. Envy me.

It has been a good day.