I had a fantastic weekend with my family. We had fun, spent time with friends, enjoyed the glorious weather, and had a minimum of yelling. Last night, after the kids were tucked into bed, I had a moment of clarity. It was so sudden and so unexpected, and the thought nearly took my breath away -
This is the happiest I have ever been.
Barring small everyday worries, most of those resulting from my own impatience and frustrations, my life is nearly perfect. My husband adores me, my children still tolerate me, my friends are many and dear. I have settled into a deep contentment, and wish to never leave.
Every night, I fall asleep during my erratic prayers (please keep them safe what do we have going on tomorrow thank you for my family do we have milk?). Every night, I ask the same thing - give me patience, give me peace, help me be better. Last night, it was different - please let us always be this happy.
Several times, I turned to the husband to tell him, but each time I felt hot eyed and lumpy throated and couldn't quite get it out. I realize that the schmaltzy old people at the grocery store who say things like, 'You'll look back on this time...' are right. We are young and healthy and happy and safe and well.
What a gift.
2 weeks ago