1. If you are going to touch your butt, wash your hands afterward.
2. Do not walk around with a bag on your head.
3. Do not eat the dog food.
4. Maximum 3 underwear changes (for no reason) in one day.
5. Just because you thought about wearing it, and then changed your mind, doesn't make it dirty.
6. Do not sleep with scissors or toe nail clippers.
7. Do not try to "make mommy's drink better" with the addition of anything.
8. Use your own toothbrush. Only in your mouth.
9. The dog's butthole is not a "button". She does not do tricks if you push it.
10. Do not wake someone up by jumping in the middle of their chest and yelling "SURPRISE!".
1 week ago
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No farting at the dinner table.
ReplyDeleteThis is my only rule. I'm the only female member of the family, I have one fart-free zone and it is the dinner table.
Those all sound reasonable. If you fart in the car, please give me a heads up. Moms of boys tend to have multiple fart related rules
ReplyDeleteI spat coffee out reading this, thanks! I think all of those scenarios have occurred in my house.
ReplyDelete