We spotted a couple of cougars at the baseball game the other night, resplendent in their rhinestones and big hair, ready to bust out their best Sally O'Malley impersonation. Sean and I snickered and rolled our eyes and I told him to never let me dress like that when I'm that old.
Then this morning, as I'm putting a butterfly pin in my hair, I think "I am too old to wear a butterfly pin in my hair. This looks ridiculous." Maybe if they made barrettes featuring calcium chews, now that would be age appropriate. The older I get, the more I repeat to myself that age is just a number, which is sometimes bullshit.
Age is just a number when it comes to have a positive outlook, bettering yourself mentally, physically and emotionally. In your personal likes and dislikes (if Granny wants to listen to Eminem, that is cool with me), in living life to it's fullest.
Age is most definitely not just a number when it comes to jeggings. Or short shorts or halter tops or nipple piercings (and I can not imagine my poor, pendulous feedbags with a piercing). Unless you are rocking it to a crowd of thousands, some things just become inappropriate at a certain age.
And some things become vital. Spanx. Primer. Bras. Kegels. The aforementioned calcium chews.
Even the vocabulary changes as you age. Valley speak was the hipster chatter* in my teenage years, now young people feel the need to abbreviate everything. It's gone from text speak (and even I'm guilty of the occasional LOL in casual correspondence) to abbreviating words while speaking. Totes adorbs. Totes adorbs? You are so lazy you can't sound out the other four syllables? That is jank. (Thank you H- for telling me about 'jank'. It let me avoid using 'bullshit' twice in one blog post).
I wonder if my mother secretly wants to punch me when I say 'dude' 400 times a day? I wonder if my daughter looks at me and thinks "You are way too old to be calling me dude."?
Maybe age really isn't a number, but a perception - what is or isn't age appropriate, what is or isn't 'too old' or 'too young'. Maybe those cougars were looking at me thinking "She really needs to loosen up."
But I stand by the part about the jeggings.
*I know 'hipster chatter' sounds ridiculous. But it was the first thing that came to mind and it made me feel like a crotchety old lady, so I'm going with it.
(By the by, apparently I inadvertently entered myself in a contest and now that I'm in it, I want to have a decent showing. If you're so inclined, head over to Circle of Moms and vote for SFC. There was a button to put on my blog, but I couldn't figure out how to do it - techno dummy that I am. You can vote once a day until May 16. If I win, I get something fabulous, like another button I can't figure out how to add. It would be more awesome if they were giving away something useful, like a canned ham. I LOVE ham.)
2 weeks ago