I Can't Be That Mom

Sometimes I just scroll through blogs looking for interesting things (topics to steal) and occasionally I come across a mommy blog that is so full of crafts and self-righteousness that I want to vomit. I admire people who live close to the earth and are really in tune with their kids, but did you really slaughter your grass fed free range cow and tan the hide to recover your couch, and prepare a succulent tenderloin which your children happily ate? And did you make it all a teachable moment?

Maybe you did. But I can't be that mom.

For years I have dreamed of a compost bin, and the closest I seem to get is feeding leftovers to the dog. I would love to teach my girls to embroider their monograms on delicate hankies, but that would require me learning how to embroider, and that's not going to happen. I take clothes to the dry cleaners if I need a button sewn on. My crafts pretty much suck, I let them watch (kind of a lot of) TV, I use (and never considered not using) disposable diapers, I think traditional public school is just fine for most kids, we eat out of plastic bowls and use chemicals. Lots of chemicals.

I do recycle. And last year we had TWO Topsy Turvy tomato plants. Does that count for anything?

I'm giving my kids an education that not all kids get, however. Both of the girls could put you in a figure four leg lock. They can identify a Beach Boys song. They sing on key. They like to get dirty. You can take them anywhere and they will be social and make friends and have fun. Even the baby knows how to blow his nose. They eat salad.

When I really think about it, I don't care that I don't knit their diapers or grow their vegetables or teach them ornithology from flashcards I made myself. I don't care that I'm not That Mom, because I'm This Mom.